- scd: c, do you know how phone interviews work?
- cec: well, s, telephones were invented by alexander graham bell
- scd: *hate*
January 28, 2010, 5:35pm Comments
January 28, 2010, 5:35pm Comments
January 27, 2010, 12:27pm Comments
I went on craigslist this morning at around 9:30 am, looking for furniture. (I’m redecorating, in case you needed to know. or wanted to buy me a nice mattress.) I came upon a table and chairs that looked good, contacted the seller, and set up an exchange for tomorrow morning. at 4 pm today, in the gym, a colleague of mine, b, came up to me.
“hey c,” he said. “are you getting a table off craigslist?”
“yes, b,” I said, “and chairs.”
“oh. cc [a mutual acquaintence of ours] and I were talking just now, and she said she knows the guy that’s selling it to you. she said I should tell you to act crazy to him. like a serial killer. freak him out. then say ‘just kidding!’ and run away.”
“okay,” I said. “wow.”
later I ran into cc.
“ohmygod, c,” she said. “are you getting a table?”
“b already told me,” I said. “you want me to scare him?”
“oh yes. please. he looked you up on facebook just to make sure you were real and asked me if I knew you because we were mutual friends and your picture is of you scowling. I said you were a real teddy bear, that you just looked that way, but you could totally get away with it. c’mon, creep him out a bit.”
the future is here. in it, everyone knows you are getting a table. it is scary.
also, maybe I shouldn’t scowl in my facebook picture?
January 14, 2010, 5:43pm Comments
bagel and donut
walk into a bar, saying
round about these parts
(2010)
January 12, 2010, 2:54pm Comments
» non-fiction: the benevolent sun (part one)
my first published non-fiction work, on my trip to north korea in 2008.
part one. part two next week.
January 11, 2010, 7:13pm Comments
With the publication of damaging e-mails from a climate research center in Britain, the radical environmental movement appears to face a tipping point. The revelation of appalling actions by so-called climate change experts allows the American public to finally understand the concerns so many of us have articulated on this issue.
fffffffffffffffffffffffff. fffffffffffffffffffffffff. ffffff.
December 08, 2009, 8:41pm Comments
Part 5: The Fullness of the Lips
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)
A deep-focus shot of a warm orange room: first the edge of the ottoman, a blotchy velvet street find of the kind you’d leave in a sealed bag for three weeks to ensure the bedbugs were dead before using it. Then the narrow view of the hardwood floor, lacquered cheaply at some point in the seventies or eighties to maintain some false semblance of pre-war glamour. On either side, bookshelves, towering with volumes retrieved from estate sales, giveaways, and sidewalk vendors. Two worn 1908 editions of “Cymbeline.” A rubber-banded cache of National Geographics from 1953. Last week’s New Yorker. At the rear wall, the couch, of a similar (but not identical) velvet to the ottoman, regally-faded in comparison to the ottoman’s ratty covering. Finally, the young woman herself, legs folded under her on the cushions, wearing a long heather sweater that came down to her knees. Brown wavy hair and a penetrating stare. Finally, nestled in her lap, a single black-and-white cat, its eyes closed contentedly as her long fingers stroked its chin.
“Only you, Byron Xu,” said Elena Malcolm, the Queen of Cats, her voice echoing through my tinny computer speakers. “I figured if you were calling on Skype you were either in serious trouble or bored out of your mind.”
November 30, 2009, 1:08am Comments
Part 4: The Recesses of the Gums
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
“Are we there yet?”
“No. Stop complaining.”
“This is maybe the most awkward thing I’ve ever done.”
“Yeah, listen, that goes both ways. If someone pulls me over with you in the car I’m going to claim diplomatic immunity or something.”
“Wait, you’re not a citizen?”
“No, I—what do you care?”
“Making conversation.”
November 29, 2009, 1:37am Comments
